Why do people treat me badly?


Why do people treat me badly?

It’s very easy to look at yourself and think you’ve said or done something that warrants other people’s negative behaviour towards you. Surely there’s got to be a reason why they’re treating you badly?

If you’ve already looked at your own behaviour and you can’t identify anything that could be the cause, work through the following:


  • Make a note of their behaviour, the context surrounding their behaviour and the impact it has on you
  • Could there be a reason for their behaviour e.g. they’ve had a bad day and this behaviour is rare, could their behaviour be explained by something or are their behaviour more regular and consistent
  • Look at how they treat other people, are they treating other people the same way? If they are, it’s part of who they are as a person. If it’s only towards you, it could be personal from their side (doesn’t mean you’ve done/said anything)


I don't understand why people treat me so bad


Here are a few things you could try to resolve this:

  • Speak to the person and have your list of their behaviours which have affected you
  • Set healthy boundaries and let that person know what these boundaries are so they’re aware of what you’re ok with and what’s not ok
  • Distance yourself if you’ve tried everything else and nothing’s changed. You know what you deserve and you shouldn’t have to settle for less.

It’s them not you.

If someone consistently treats you badly, it’s a reflection of who they are as a person e.g. if someone was to come up to you kicked you out of the blue, you would automatically blame that person and not take it as a reflection of yourself. If someone verbally does the same as the above, the same logic applies, it’s them not you.

Welcome to Kay’s Counselling, my name is Kiran (Kay) Mahboob. I run an office from the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham, 10 minutes from Birmingham city centre.

We have therapists working out of Kay’s Counselling office and therapists on our directory. All our therapists go through a rigorous interview process, ensuring they have the skills and knowledge to help you work through your issues through counselling or psychotherapy.

All our therapists know the level of courage it takes for you to contact us to start your journey, we aim to match the same level of courage in our therapists, who have a desire to help you achieve your goals with their expertise.

Check out our directory, we’re very selective about who we work with, we aim to have therapists who have the expertise to help you with your issues.  Click here to view our directory.