Why can’t I let go of an unhealthy relationship?

Woman Sat Looking Sad

Love can be like any other addiction, you feel intense pleasure when things are going well, you feel like you’re on cloud 9 however the feeling doesn’t last. You find yourself yearning to feel that pleasure feeling again and may find yourself doing or saying things to bring that feeling back. Despite knowing the relationship is unhealthy you may not be able to let go and here are a few reasons why:

      1. You believe you won’t find anyone else so your only option is to settle for your current partner no matter how they treat you
      2. You believe he/she has the potential to be a great partner because you’ve seen glimpses of it and you’re waiting for these glimpses to become permanently a full part of your partner where they’re no longer glimpses
      3. You don’t want to feel hurt by leaving and have to deal with the feelings that come with grieving for your relationship and or partner, you believe it’s easier to stay and focus on the few positives

Focus on staying in the present moment in time, work on not focusing on the past or the future, allow yourself to grieve for the relationship, you may go through all or some of the grieving stages, either way, once you’ve grieved you’ll find it easier to let go. If you have an image of your partner in your mind, where reality doesn’t match, it’s the person in your mind you need to grieve for. This is the person you feel you’re in a relationship with. Let this person go, he/she doesn’t exist. Take your time as with any form of grief, it takes time and when you’re ready, you’ll be able to move past this relationship.

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