Sudden. Bursts. Anger. Uncontrollable. Rage
What is Anger?
Anger is a natural human response to situations or certain life experiences, it tends to happen when we feel under attack, feel like we’ve been deceived, hurt or insulted. Anger helps to release a build-up of energy and tension. As humans, we are programmed to express anger from birth. However, the healthy emotion can become extreme and may show symptoms of a more deep-rooted issue. If anger is out of control it can become destructive and impact all areas of your life as well as the quality of your life, affecting your relationships, work and your well-being. In this case, you may benefit from anger management counselling.
Different forms of Anger
• Buried – when a person is unaware of their anger and displays other signs such as depression and/or anxiety
• Hidden – When a person is aware of their anger but they choose to ignore and hide it from others
• Impulsive – Also referred to someone who has a ‘short fuse’; explosive bursts of anger
• Intentional – When anger is used to intimidate, hurt and or bully other people so the person can get what they want
• Habitual– A person who can find anything to be angry at or about
• Defensive – Using anger to protect a person from hurtful comments or experiences
• Righteous – When a person considers their anger to be moral and justified
Why do you feel angry?
There are many reasons why you may feel angry and these vary from one person to another, depending on your personal circumstances and needs. Here’s a list of the common factors which cause people to display anger:
• Grief and bereavement
• Verbal or physical assault
• Low self-esteem
• Physical and or mental illness
• Withdrawal from medication or drugs
• Sexual frustration
• Someone doing something you consider morally wrong
Anger can be difficult to control: taking into account a person’s culture and the expectations they place upon themselves as well as their families/friends expectations. Some cultures deem certain feelings as a very negative emotion and impose the condition that you should not be expressing your feelings in any way, shape or form. What this does is; teach the family/friends they are not ‘allowed’ to express anger, so when someone does feel that emotion, people will suppress it which causes more problems and issues down the line, resulting in outbursts and uncontrolled anger.
Anger tends to become a problem when it harms you or others around you; it could even be that it interferes in your life more than you would like. If you bottle up your anger and don’t deal with it in a healthy way, you risk damaging your well-being and relationships you may have with those who witness and or are at the receiving end of your anger.
This can have shocking consequences in the long term and could result in your anger leading to other types of behaviour (becoming passive aggressive or even physically abusive). You may find that as time goes on you get angry more easily and more often; it could have developed to the extent where even the smallest thing could set you off.
If you feel unable to control your anger or you’re unable to let go of these extreme feelings, this is a sign you should seek anger management therapy. to resolve the issues surrounding your anger.
Other side effects of anger issues
• Low self-esteem
• Eating disorder
• Substance abuse
• Sleeping problems/Insomnia
• Skin disorders
• Weakened immune system
• High blood pressure
• Feelings of rage – leading to destructive and violent behaviour
How do you know if you have an anger issue
• You find yourself involved in fights
• You have explosive outbursts where you break things
• You constantly rub your face
• You find yourself having a lot of arguments with people around you
• You have trouble with authority
• You lose your temper whilst driving
• You grind your teeth and or clench your jaw
• You rock whilst you’re sitting
• You feel a desire to lash out verbally or physically
Anger management counselling online or face to face is designed to reduce or eliminate the feelings of anger by exploring and identifying the underlying issues and what triggers your outbursts, raising your awareness and your ability to look at situations from a different perspective:
• Identify when your anger issue first started
• Identify your triggers
• Change the way you react
• Identify the best skill for you to handle your feelings and how to keep calm when you feel anger surging
• Teach you how to have your needs met in a healthy way
• Teach you how to transform your unhealthy expression of feelings into a healthier expression of anger, to motivate you and move you forward
• Teach you how to communicate effectively to defuse your feeling and resolve any conflicts
There are certain beliefs that are held which can be a turning point in whether you get angry or not – these are explored in the type of counselling we use for anger management. The family dynamic, culture, environment and your own beliefs and views are all taken into account during your therapy programme.
All our therapists know the level of courage it takes for you to contact us to start your journey, we aim to match the same level of courage in our therapists. We have therapists working from Kay’s Counselling office in Birmingham and therapists across the UK on our directory. Check out our directory, we’re very selective about who we work with, we aim to have therapists who have the expertise to help you with your issues.