Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, ethnicity or anything else. Domestic violence comes in two forms: physical and psychological.
Violence in a domestic setting is when someone tried or tries to dominate/control you: this is the only purpose for the abuser. The abuser will use methods to fulfil their purpose of controlling you by doing one or more of the following:
• Making you feel guilty
• Making you fearful of him/her
• Making you feel ashamed
• Intimidating you
• Threatening to hurt you or others you love
• Humiliating and/or yelling at you
• Putting you down and criticizing you
• Ignoring you/your accomplishments
• Blaming you for their behaviour
• Seeing you as property instead of a person
Domestic violence can start off as verbal abuse and escalate into physical abuse. Both forms of abuse are and can be very severe. The psychological aspect means the ‘scars’ are unseen to the eye but the pain and hurt is just a severe and real as the physical abuse. Both can lead to depression, anxiety, feeling like you deserve to be treated that way, like you’re to blame for everything that has happened, feeling hopeless and lost (essentially knocking your confidence and self-worth).
No one deserves to be treated in this way. The first step to moving away from a situation like this is to recognise that you’re a victim of domestic violence and accept the reality of the situation. Then, you can get the help you need, often through counselling and/or therapy.
• You feel afraid of your partner the majority of the time
• You avoid speaking about certain topics because you fear it
may anger your partner
• You feel like nothing you ever do is right in your partner’s eyes
• You believe that the treatment is what you deserve
• You question yourself – am I going crazy?
• You feel helpless and emotionally numb
Counselling for Domestic Violence with Kay’s Counselling can provide you with the right environment to talk through the difficulties you’re experiencing, can help gain clarity on issues you face, and provide you with an understanding of the underlying issues that you may be facing.
During your counselling, you work together with your therapist to identify the triggers and establish the best ways of coping so that should you feel stressed again in the future you’re more skilled at being able to deal with the problem.